Our Unique Contribution to The Field of Wellness

Our work with core emotional addictions is our original contribution to the field of wellness (explained in Caroline Eick’s book: Core Emotional Addictions)—the understanding that the body gets used to the chemical effect of emotions with which we have been imprinted, through intense or frequent exposure in early years of development. The body will seek the effect of those emotions. This unconscious addiction to distressing emotions (born out of childhood or other trauma) translates psychologically into seeking (albeit unconsciously) the very situations that will justify those emotions. We work with clients to identify the emotion/behavior loops that keep them repeating self-defeating habits (this part is not necessarily unique—all good counselors do that) but we do this by bypassing mentalizing and ongoing analyses and descriptions of the problem—which often exacerbate feelings of powerlessness and re-traumatize the nervous system. Instead, we focus primarily on emotional energies traveling through the body and teach how to notice them. We then teach tools to soften the intensity of distressing emotions through breathing techniques, reflective tools, and practices in creativity. The softening of the distressing emotions is experienced not only as a bodily relief, but also as refreshed mental capacity, with clearer thinking.

We begin by identifying imprints or core beliefs forged at the intersections of messages inherited from family of origin, from cultural norms and social institutions and organizations, as well as from ancestors. We teach that in our human experience, we carry both life-enhancing (positive) imprints and self-defeating (negative) imprints. Life-enhancing, or positive imprints, are imbued with elevated feelings of compassion, forgiveness, gratitude, joy, generosity, to name a few, feelings that nurture and sustain trust in our Authentic Self. We describe the Authentic Self as the True Self, the pure Heart of our Being, our fundamental and unfailing wholeness.

When we are living from our Authentic Self, we experience abundance, self and mutual empowerment, true enjoyment, unconditional love, freedom and peace. We believe that it is not only our individual calling to become fully our Authentic Selves, but that we are further made stronger when we extend authentic compassion to others.

To negative imprints, on the other hand, are attached to what we refer to as core emotional addictions, cravings for security, power-control, sensation and struggle. Unrecognized, these emotional cravings keep us repeating fight, flight, freeze or fix behaviors, survival behaviors of relating to others and the environment even when context no longer requires survival behaviors. For example, a person struggling with the emotional addiction to security will continually feel as if she never has enough, never does enough, or is never good enough, and therefore, continually craves having, being, and doing “more.” The person interprets and repeatedly experiences life events as evidence of lack, betrayal and abandonment, because experiencing lack feeds an emotional craving for more. A person struggling with the emotional addiction to power-control will continually feel the need to dominate and overpower others; and compulsively craves to have, be, and do “the most.” The person interprets and repeatedly experiences life events as a series of power struggles and endless competition, because experiencing power struggle fuels an emotional craving for winning and dominating.

A person struggling with the emotional addiction to sensation will compulsively seek crises and “drama” in daily occurrences and relationships, or seek high intensity, high risk behaviors to appease an emotional nervousness; on the opposite end, the person may completely shut down in isolation and depression. The person interprets and repeatedly experiences life events as boring and/or purposeless, because experiencing purposelessness and boredom fuels an emotional craving for crises/drama or complete shutdowns. Finally, a person struggling with the emotional addiction to struggle will compulsively seek to be vindicated and/or validated through personal suffering and self-sacrifice. Struggle becomes a craving. The person never rests in satisfaction of a pleasant experience but continually seeks more struggle to feel either worthy or vindicated. Core emotional addictions not only color the lenses through which we perceive reality, but establish the baselines for what we identify as emotionally familiar and acceptable, often against our best judgments. We believe that substance addictions (i.e. alcoholism, drug abuse, nicotine addiction, etc.) and process addictions (i.e. gambling, shopping, spending, eating, compulsive sexual activity, etc.) are manifestations of core emotional addictions.

At the Center for Heart-Mind Coherence, we guide clients through the process of (1) identifying inherited negative as well as positive imprints, (2) recognizing the core emotional addictions developed by and congealed around negative imprints, and (3) integrating into daily practice the tools we offer (a) to integrate and release emotional addictions and (2) to draw on the authentic self to find buoyancy in making room for elevated emotions, clear thinking and creative action.